feeling green

And I don't mean the cool, let's-save-the-earth type green, nor the green-with-envy type green. I am talking the unpleasant, physically painful, am-I-going-to-live-to-see-the-end-of-this, puking type green.

Last night Joel had to go to the Toronto airport to meet a hockey team (the Canadian Juniors? Under 18? Just won gold? Something like that...I don't follow hockey news at all) that was returning home from Russia. It was for his job...he works at a local newspaper and two of the hockey players are from our town, so the paper wanted coverage on this home-coming event. I decided to come along for the ride. At the time I was feeling blue, not green, and the thought of spending the night by myself, lonely and with my own gloomy thoughts seemed really depressing, so I opted for the excursion.

Well, not even an hour after we left, I started getting the most horrendous stomach pains ever. Then I started breaking out into chills and a cold sweat. By the time we got to the airport I was feeling light headed and horribly, horribly ill, and there was nothing to do but sit around in one of those uncomfortable airport chairs and wait until the Canadian Juniors got their act together and got off the plane, which took an hour. Then it was another hour of interviewing and picture taking before finally we were able to leave. I just made it out the doors of the airport and into the parking lot when I threw up, which is never fun. It's even less fun when you're in a public place and 3 hours from home.

The ride home was terrible, and felt about a day longer than it usually does. We got back at about 12:30 a.m. I had a crappy sleep last night and had to call in sick for work today (I hate doing that) and I've spent the whole day in bed feeling severely unwell.

Crappy, crappy, crappy, crappy, crappy!!!!

At least you can't catch germs over the internet.

hug a tree

Take a walk, plant a garden, look at the stars, listen to the birds, take a breath, hug a tree, be thankful.

Happy Earth Day, my friends!

fitness fun with princess sunshine and the midnight dog

Today Penny and I revisited our morning tradition: we walked around the lake, which is approximately 5 kilometres (so I've been told...I haven't actually checked that out for myself). In the fall, when we first moved to this apartment, Penny and I started at least three mornings a week with a brisk walk around the lake. It is, to me, the perfect walk: over a boardwalk on the lake, through residential streets, along forest paths, up hills, down hills, and finally back home again. I had given up on the walk around the time we got snow...I'm a definite chicken when it comes to cold and snow and general wintery-ness, and so for the last five to six months, I did not go out much, and I definitely did not get much exercise.

Neither did Penny, apparently...about half way through our walk this morning she started huffing and puffing and really slowing the pace. She's in worse shape than me!

And so that's how I decided that we (and by that I mean Penny and myself) need to whip ourselves back into shape, with the Princess Sunshine and Midnight Dog fitness routine!

I use the term "fitness routine" lightly...in the past, I would create these detailed plans for myself that would outline two or three different workout routines that I would intend to rotate through, so that I would work out for at least and hour, if not two hours, every day, and over the course of a week do pretty much everything that's ever been recommended for optimal personal fitness. It never worked. In fact, I don't think I ever even had one week that went exactly according to plan.

I'm also really not one for for joining a gym...I've done that before, too, and again, it would work for a little while, but then it just became too inconvenient/expensive/unmotivating to keep up with it. So this time I am trying to be realistic. I have had great success making other lifestyle changes. I'm a vegetarian, I make 99% of my own food (no pre-made, packaged stuff, etc), I've completely altered my buying/spending habits so that I never buy anything new (except socks and underwear, obviously), and I've kept up with my 2008 resolution to not eat candy anymore (I used to be a bag-or-two a day consumer of the oh-so-wonderful Cherry Blasters, chewy bits of artificially flavoured goodness that they are). So. I feel like I should be able to add some consistent physical activity into my life. The question is...how?

My thought, from looking at my other lifestyle changes, is that physical activity needs to just fit right in to what is already my daily routine and schedule, my interests, etc. It needs to grow from something in my lifestyle that is already there, and not just be some new thing tacked on to the side of it, like joining a gym was for me. If it is just tacked on to the side, it will eventually fall off. But take eating habits, for example. I already ate every day. So instead of adding eating into my life as this new activity that I now need to rearrange my whole daily routine for, I was just changing what I ate. A lifestyle change isn't as big a deal if you are simply modifying and expanding what you already do, whereas by adding something new in addition to everything else, you not only need to get used to the actual activity itself (i.e. exercise) you also need to get used to a completely different series of daily events (i.e. getting up earlier to workout before work, making it necessary to go to bed earlier, which may make it necessary to eat dinner earlier, which may give you less time between getting home from work and eating dinner, etc.) I'm not saying it's impossible to add new elements to a day, I'm merely hypothesizing that it may make lifestyle changes harder. Just a thought.

So, because Penny is a dog and needs to go outside several times a day, and because we live in an apartment and can't just let her outside on her own, I already end up going outside at least twice a day (Joel takes her out, too, remember...I don't want anyone out there thinking, "WHAT!! She only lets her dog out twice a day!!!!!") Even in crappy weather I try to take Penny for a short walk. I see this as my pre-existing daily element that can be modified and expanded in order to incorporate more activity. And that brings us to the Princess Sunshine Spring Fitness Program:

Monday and Tuesday:
an hour-long walk in the morning (around the above-mentioned lake)
a walk (minimum half-hour) in the evening, after dinner

Wednesday, Thursday and Friday:
an half-hour walk after work (between 12:30 and 3:00, depending on the day)
an hour-long walk after dinner

Saturday and Sunday:
This is hard to plan because there are always so many other things going on...but I think it's safe to say at least one hour-long walk each day, and maybe a "bonus" activity that Joel and I do together, like biking or, once the water is warmer, swimming or canoeing.

There we have it. I feel pretty satisfied that I will be able to stick with that for the next while, and perhaps start building on to it from there.

I will let you know how it goes! Any other tips and ideas are always appreciated, too!

a peek into the future

It is with great pleasure that I introduce to you the lovable, charming, and oh-so-elegant Fancy Llamas!


These two characters are the result of a little side project I've been working on since my birthday when I received a pair of matching canvases, some paints and paintbrushes. I finally finished the paintings late last week. I am now on the lookout for a pair of ornate, antique picture frames that are suitable to showcase the portraits of such fancy llamas as these...I'm looking for (preferably) matching frames, 16 X 22 inches, if any one knows where I might find something like that.

I had such a great time painting these pictures. I usually approach everything, even my hobbies, with a sense of seriousness and perfection that ends up getting in the way of the joy of creativity. When I write (which has traditionally always been my creative expression of choice) I'm constantly thinking, "Is it okay to say that? Will people get what I mean? Does that sound okay? Is this appropriate for my intended audience? What is my intended audience?" etc. etc. etc. until I end up feeling pretty stressed and stifled. The act of painting these portraits completely released me from that type of self-censorship. I have no history in painting, and I had no purpose in painting except to enjoy it, and it was wonderful to the point of being exhilarating and inspiring in itself. These two llamas have come to represent a state of absolute creative freedom for me...this renewed and rediscovered joy of a pure, uncensored imagination. These llamas have made me realize how to let go of all my little hang-ups in the process of creating something, and just go for it. After all, I painted them completely for me...I wasn't thinking about getting them into a gallery, or worrying about what people would think of them. I painted them because the two blank canvases made me think of those old-style oil portraits and I thought it would be funny to paint portraits of an animal instead of a human. It was like a personal joke, and that was all it needed to be. I had no idea that it would end up being so liberating.

I bring all of this up because it was in the process of creating these Llamas that I realized what I want my focus to be, and that is what I've been working on since then. I have some new projects in the works that are not quite ready to be unvaled yet, but they will be soon...the Portaits of The Fancy Llamas are peek into where I'm going, not so much with painting but with the inspiration that I got from it.

My friends, the future has become a little more exciting. I can't wait to share it with you!

a new kind of fashion show

I have wanted to get into the craft of clothing modification (i.e. making something new out of something old, adornment, etc.) for a really long time now. I love thrift shopping - it is actually the only kind of shopping I do anymore. And I always thought clothing modification would be the perfect companion to thrift shopping, since "perfect" clothing is sometimes difficult to find at a second-hand shop, but clothing with potential is always available.

I've always been a little nervous about cutting something up, and I've been a little skeptical of my ability to sew it back together again. But this weekend I decided to go for it. The first cut felt so liberating and exciting. And the finished project turned out awesome, if I do say so myself.

Some pictures: I forgot to take actual before and after pictures, but I realized that just before I started cutting up the original sweater (it was already pinned and sewed in a couple places). Anyway, the sweater was a men's size large, made of lambswool and in really good shape. I got it from Value Village for $6.99.

I had already cut the sleeves off here, but this give you some idea of how big it was before.
Here's the finished product: an extra-long sweater vest.
I'm so thrilled because it looks exactly how I wanted it to look. It's exciting because I really didn't know that I could figure out how to do something like this.

And all of a sudden, getting dressed seems like an activity with endless possibilities!

happy spring

Yesterday Joel came home with a potted cherry tomato plant that grows and produces indoors (or on a deck in warmer weather). It is lush, it is green, and it has that summery smell of tomato plants that always reminds me of the garden we had when I was a kid.

I am thrilled with it, because we are now entering our sixth (yes, sixth!) month of snowy, cold winteryness, and this tomato plant reminds me that one day, with any luck, it will be warm and green and sunny again. I love it. I keep closing my eyes and smelling it, and pretending that I have transported to a warmer climate.

It has slowly been getting a little more spring-like, day by day, although it is by far the longest, snowiest, coldest winter/spring of my life. Maybe it was just because of the tomato plant, but today I actually woke up and felt like it was spring. I took Penny out this morning and it was gray and kind of gloomy out, but something about how the birds were singing made me feel like there is hope for the future. Plus, it was the first day I've walked to work since early November without wearing boots, a hat and a scarf. I felt light and free. And still a little cold. But I was light and free enough (and the walk was short enough) that it didn't really matter.

Dare I say it? At risk of jinxing it all and bringing on a huge snow storm...Happy Spring!

excuses, excuses

So, I had this grand scheme that I was keeping to myself (for fear of blowing it too soon) that involved writing some type of blog post every day. Well, you may have noticed that that went out the window yesterday, so I am going to use today's blog post to tell you why that happened. It is straightforward. It is simple. And it lent itself to a really frustrating evening.

I had to work yesterday, but the day went well and I got home at about 3:00. I unlocked the door to my apartment, I put away my keys, and I summoned my beloved Midnight Dog. We went outside, and about five minutes later as we went to go back inside, I realized that I had somehow managed to lock the door again on my way out. The difference this time, of course, being that my keys were still inside the apartment. It took me about ten minutes of twisting the doorknob, pounding on the door and finicking with the window before I accepted the fact that I was really locked out, and hadn't just lost the ability to open doors.

I used my scarf to tie up Penny and then I went searching for a phone. Of course, despite our building being filled with people who are essentially unemployed, no one was home at this particular moment. I walked to Joel's office and tried calling my mom. She wasn't home. I tried to track down the landlord's phone # and I couldn't find it. I was beginning to lose hope. Joel did have his car keys, however, so I walked back home and picked up the car and Penny. Penny, who usually is great in the car decided that this would be a good day to bark the whole time the vehicle was moving. When I arrived back to Joel's office, I was frazzled and even more frustrated and the last thing I was thinking about was my two-day-old resolution to write on my blog every day.

To jump to the end (since I know you are all dying to know), I ran into my Mom in town (my first stroke of luck in hours) and went home with her. I tracked down the landlords number, but couldn't get a hold of her. So, we finally ended up having to break the door. Now the door not only doesn't lock, it also looks like it's about to fall apart at any minute. But hey, at least we get to go inside, now, right?

Anyway, this whole ordeal lasted until about 9:30 last night. By the time we got home and got inside, I was tired and teetering on grumpy, so I decided to save blogging (and the whole story) for today.

I guess the secret's out though...yes, I will try to blog every day or at least almost every day. Keeping in mind, of course, that there will always be days that will just be exceptions.

hi bros

I forgot to say yesterday that both my bros left this weekend: Christopher to England for three months, and Aaron to visit Mount Allison University in New Brunswick for two weeks. They're gone because they have far more interesting things going on in their lives than I do. This fact sent me into a bit of a funk that resulted in the conclusion that I have nothing going on because I have no focus in my life. See yesterday's post for more details on that.

See, when I think about things (my life, my future, etc.) I like the idea of the somewhat nomadic existence (a la Christopher) doing a variety of things for a short amount of time, thus preventing anything from getting too boring or too routine. But see, then I think to myself, "Alison, you handle change and anticipation worse than the US government handles climate change" and in reality, I'm not so sure I would like just wandering around the world with no where to call home. I mean, I would like that for a while, like probably six months to a year, and then I would want to come home. And that's the other problem...I like being close to my parents, which is great, except that my parents have decided to spend the rest of their days in This Particular Small Town Ontario, and I really, really, really hate the idea of spending many more years here. I mean, don't get me wrong, it's a lot better here than it is in Soulless Suburbia, Ontario, but still. This is a town with a lot of old people, and very few opportunities. It is really difficult to imagine a satisfying and interesting future in the context of this town. However, I can't for the life of me think of where else I would rather be, and so that whole thing bums me out. >sigh<.

So that's where the idea of focus came in. I thought, maybe where I am doesn't matter as much as what I'm choosing to focus my energy on. And in the past year, I haven't really been focused on anything. Perhaps by being excited about what I am doing, I will be less depressed about where I am. And if I am doing my own thing, and not just acting as a player in someone else's thing, than I can keep the interest and flexibility in my life to travel, to experiment, to be creative, to wake up at noon, to even take off for several months if I want to. All the while, doing something I care about, that is mine and that means something to me. I can have my own agenda. I can take it wherever I go. I can live somewhere without feeling chained to it.
>sigh again<. The whole thing sounds great. Now I just need a focus. Again, see yesterday's post for more information on that.

Wow. I got off on a long tangent. The only thing I was actually planning on saying today was, "Because my brothers are away, I've decided to write on my blog more frequently as an extra way of keeping in touch." You know what that means, right?

You can look forward to even more posts just like this one! Yay!