finding focus

Growing up, I always knew what I wanted to do with my life. Sure, it changed here and there, but at any given moment, I always had a definitive plan for the future. I was always SO focused and motivated, to the point of obsession throughout college. Then I graduated and got what I thought was my dream job, with the possibility of climbing the ladder to "better" positions, etc. etc. Except that I ended up hating the job, not to mention that whole culture of working more than you play, schmoozing with higher-ups in an effort to climb higher, too, and basically making work a #1 focus because there really isn't time for other things. I wanted to shoot myself. Don't worry...I didn't. But I did quit. And Joel and I left the suburbs for a more rural environment, and life improved immediately.

However, I am not ready for the "Happily Ever After" just yet. That big switch happened just over a year ago, and in the past year I really have just been trying to take it easy, to de-focus myself, if anything. I mean, I had just spent years fixated on the whole college-graduate-dream job scenario, and that all fell apart. So, I have intentionally spent the past year not really getting involved in anything too heavily. I have a part time job that isn't too taxing. I've done a lot of volunteer work. I've reintroduced myself to some of my favourite hobbies, and now, a year later, I feel like I am finally ready for a focus again.

Except that I don't know what I want to do. I don't want a career. I want to fill my time with something that is flexible, fun, that isn't adding to the world's problems (and is perhaps helping to solve them!) and that will make some money here and there, that I am (preferably) in charge of, and that has the chance to grow or evolve, without being a failure if it doesn't turn into the World's Next Big Thing. I don't want to be connected with the education system, the government, or anything else that has a tendency to get bureaucratic and restrictive.

All I really want is to have an interesting life, I guess. I want to be creative and have the ability to spend time with people I care about. I'd like to travel and discover a little more about the world. I don't mind working hard...I just want to do something that I know is worth it, at least to me, and that gives life some degree of meaning, once in a while.

So, if you find the above job posting somewhere, pass it on.

twenty three

Yesterday was my birthday. I turned 23. Happy birthday to me!

I have had a really fantastic birthday week. On Sunday we had my birthday celebration and it was marvelous! I got canvases, paintbrushes and acrylic paint, Secret Carnival Workers (a book of poetry by Paul Haines) and a mixed CD of some of the weirdest and wonderful(est?) songs I've heard in ages, a book on knitted rugs (yay!), enrollment in an art class on modifying and adorning your clothes (yay again!) and a beautiful wooden frame/display case to hold my prized 1949 issue of Seventeen Magazine. The frame, of course, was custom made by my awesome dad.

By some glorious fate 23 years ago, I was born during March break, and more gloriously yet, I still get March break off because of the nature of my job. So I had the whole week, free and clear. On Monday I hung out with my mom and bros. On Tuesday and Wednesday I put those canvases, brushes and paints to good use and tried my hand at painting (something I haven't actually done before, besides having to paint an abstract piece for a high school art class. A forced abstract painting...seems a little oxymoronic. Ah well, such is formal education). Now, about painting: IT WAS SO MUCH FUN. I literally spent all day Tuesday and Wednesday painting, listening to music and singing loudly. And once in a while I would pause and think things like, "I am having SO MUCH FUN," and "I can't remember the last time I enjoyed something THIS MUCH."

On Thursday (my real birthday) my mom took me out for breakfast. I painted some more. Then Aaron came over for dinner and brought butter tarts for dessert (yum!). Then Joel and I went to a special screening of My Kid Could Paint That, a thought-provoking documentary that really raises some major questions about some of my favourite subjects: art, children's rights, and what people are potentially capable of doing when money and fame are involved. I enjoyed it and probably could have discussed it for another 5 hours afterwards, but eventually the day came to close and I really had to stop talking to call it a night.

And that, my friends, is how I entered my new age of 23. So far, it's been a great year!

the midnight dog

Just over a year ago, Joel tricked me into getting a puppy. He did it by taking me to the pet store and showing me, live and in person, the black lab/rottweiller puppies that had just arrived. They were seven weeks old. The smallest, cutest one came right up and cuddled with me. And then we went home and the smallest, cutest puppy came home with us too. Clever Joel. He knew I wouldn't be able to resist a puppy.

We named her Penny, as in Penny Lane (the Beatles song). When we first brought her home she got really upset and cried a lot, and the Beatles calmed her down, making her, obviously, a very cool puppy in addition to being cute. I hate to admit this, but I almost immediately regretted bringing her home, though, because the first two nights we had her she cried THE WHOLE ENTIRE TIME. Which is understandable, but still. It drove me crazy. And either Penny has continuously improved or I have just stayed crazy, because now I love her and can't imagine not having her.

Originally I didn't want to have a dog because I work more than half the week at home, trying my darndest to be a writer/artist of sorts, and I was afraid a dog would be a distraction. As it turns out, she's not nearly as distracting as other things (like my blog, haha) and she's actually been good for my lifestyle because she forces me to go outside several times a day. She keeps me company. She makes me laugh. She weighs 65 pounds and still likes to sit on my lap. She plays fetch all day long with whatever we're willing to throw. She loves the snow in the winter and swimming in the summer. She is so dark that when I take her outside at night, she looks like a shadow against the snow. She'll give you five and plays hide and seek.

She is the glorious, enthusiastic and lovable Midnight Dog. What would Princess Sunshine be without her?

back to life

I get really excited about things like this, especially after seeing Who Killed the Electric Car? This video is from CBC's awesome show The Mercer Report and I've got to admit, it gives a really good argument for moving to British Columbia...unless you're American, in which case you REALLY need to see this. NOW!

After watching the video, check out ZENN Cars for more info.

bonjour ottawa!

On Thursday afternoon Joel and I spontaneously decided to go to Our Nation's lovely capital, Ottawa, overnight. We both had Friday off, and we were both itching to get out of town for a day or so and do something different. So we did.

We stayed right downtown. We were across the street from the original Giant Tiger store. Or, in other words, the first location that China-made discount crap entered the country under the premise that it was "All Canadian." Yay.

During my one-year stint in high school, I went on a class trip to Ottawa to visit the Museum of Civilization. After the tour was over, the bus let us off downtown and we were given two hours to eat dinner and get back to the bus. My friends and I decided to find a "trendy city restaurant." I can't recall what our criteria was for determining which restaurants were "trendy" and "city," but we ended up at this place called the Blue Cactus. We were thrilled with it.

On Thursday, Joel and I were looking for a place to eat (it was late) and, once again, The Blue Cactus appeared. It still seemed trendy and city, plus this time I discovered they have a surprising array of vegetarian meals, and impressive martinis.

On Friday morning we hit up some of the shops in the market area. I tell you, any of you, it is SO worth going to the Ottawa Byward Market. We went to The Sassy Bead Co.

Then we discovered a couple very sweet vintage clothing shops, including Adorit, where I found these 70's crocheted flats which I LOVE, and even more so because they actually fit me (I have really small feet):

After the market, we went and warmed our hands by the eternal flame,

and then shook our fists at Stephen Harper.

And then we went to the Rideau Canal to go skating, which is actually the whole reason we went to Ottawa, and not, say, Toronto. Ottawa has the canal, which claims to be the world's largest skating rink (the cleared skateway is 7.8 kilometres long). There is just something SO Canadian about winter, outdoor skating, and being in Ottawa...combine the three and it really is a quintessential Canadian experience. It is actually an experience that I've only had once before, when I was a kid. And Joel couldn't remember if he'd ever been skating on the canal. So it seemed like a good time to give a nod to our culture. Or, at least, our country's perception of its culture.


I haven't been skating in three years, but I had a lot of fun. We skated about five kilometres in total (2.5 one way and then we turned around). There was something genuinely cool and romantic about skating hand-in-hand down the canal...I would love to do it again sometime.

After we were finished skating we indulged with another Canadian tradition: The BeaverTail pastry, which is apparently a creation of the early Canadian explorers, but the modern version of this delicious treat originated in Ottawa, at the canal. A BeaverTail is basically dough that is deep fried and then smothered in the topping of your choice (I chose cinnamon and sugar, mmmmm!) I also discovered that they are now made with whole wheat flour, and are fried in veggie oil, so they're practically a health food (haha, I wish).

From the BeaverTail hut we headed home. It snowed the whole way. Since we have now gone skating on the Rideau canal (which was on this year's winter to-do list) I feel like it can officially warm up now and become spring...after all, in another strong Canadian tradition, we have some maple syrup to make!